Alright folks, let me tell you my little story about the TheraWand. In full disclosure, I was on Amazon looking for my next prostate massager, because, well, I’m just into that sort of thing. Page after page after page, it’s all stuff that I already had, and I was getting bored. Then, the next page turns up this TheraWand. What? TheraWand? I was intrigued...

              

As it turns out, the TheraWand is an internal physical therapy device designed for both men and women. It was created to help a myriad of vaginal and rectal problems, and it's even used to treat scar tissue on the perineum (which happens to women when babies are born). Then I got this idea: I’m going to put myself in the shoes of a man who has prostatitis and is absolutely opposed to the idea of using a intrarectal therapy device. And then, I’m going to write about the experience from his perspective.

So, I wrote to the company a few times, and they agreed to send me the wand in exchange for a tutorial about which I have described. The focus here is knowing that this is ultimately a therapy device, and I am only speaking from my experience as a man. Ladies, sorry, you are going to have to try this for yourself. However, my experience dictates that this would be ideally suited not just for a man, but a woman as well. The design is flawless.

As soon as it came in the mail (which was today, the date of this article), I told my Wife, “Why don’t you go take a nap, so I can do this in private.” She agreed. I then went in the living room and put myself in the perspective of a reluctant man trying to overcome an inflamed prostate, erectile dysfunction, and general pelvic floor pain. I read the instruction sheet (that comes with it), laid down a towel, applied the lubrication, and then did what any non-experienced guy would do -- shoved it in at full throttle. You might think, “Hey, didn’t that hurt?” No, it didn’t. In fact, it went in rather easily with the lube and the tapered tip. The medical grade acrylic was already room temperature, and it warmed up to my body temperature in a matter of seconds.

My next step was to use it the way it was designed. Following the instructions that come with it, I went from one o’clock to six o’clock inside my rectal tissue, and massaged lightly, while also pausing to press firmly. I then went from eleven to six and did the same thing. The two right angles of the TheraWand make it extremely easy to turn and navigate your cavity. The instructions also state to NOT use it on the twelve o’clock spot, as not to hit the sensitive prostate and urethra area. The whole experience was pain free, and it took all of seven minutes to accomplish. It could be done in less time, but use it for the therapy for which it was designed. Take your time, and you’ll heal properly.

Then, I thought, “What if my Physical Therapist wanted me to massage my prostate to alleviate inflammation?” Being experienced at this for almost two decades, I knew what I was doing. However, I took it slowly, and used it as if I were a beginner. Let me put this disclaimer out, though: If you are over forty, go get your prostate checked for cancer before you do this. If you have prostate cancer and start massaging it, you can spread that cancer outward. If you just have an enlarged or inflamed prostate (prostatitis), you’ll be fine.

To describe the pressure to you, it feels awkward at first, and you actually feel it in the glans of your penis (the head). It will feel warm and like you have to urinate. However, if you go slowly, and if you just use moderate pressure with controlled massage movements, it will be a pleasurable experience that will not make you gay -- because some of you guys might think that it does.

If you do this on a daily basis, or at least every other day, you will very likely eliminate your prostatitis, sexual pain, or tight muscles on your pelvic floor. The wand, after you are done using it, is easy to remove and easy to clean.

Final thoughts: This is designed as a physical therapy device, and it does a wonderful job doing what it supposed to do. If you follow the instructions, you’ll be just fine. For you guys out there, I will mention that there may be some “pleasant” side effects. Enjoy them. It might open you up to a whole new world of awesome sensations.

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TheraWand -- an Ingenious Device to Treat Prostatitis, Sexual Discomfort, and Pelvic Floor Pain

4:32 PM

Nitin Vachhani

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A few weeks ago, I had a thought about prostate massage in the health sector. There are a lot of men, mostly older, who suffer from enlarged prostates and/or inflamed prostates. Anecdotally, I would say that most of those men are against putting something inside their rear ends. So, I went out and found a medical device, asked the business to provide it to me so I could review it, and this is what I found regarding the Sonic Prostate Health Massager:

Let’s get one thing out of the way first and foremost -- This product is not a sex toy; rather, it’s a medical device that is designed as such.

There are countless products out there that promise the same thing regarding prostate massage, but very few are dedicated for the health benefit. That said, there was nothing sexual about using this toy. Its design is medical, the application is medical, and the result was not erotic. It was, however, refreshing.

When the product arrives, it will be plain packaging, and no one will know what it is. In fact, even if someone opened it, it still seems innocuous enough that no one would figure it out. It was designed for the man who is a bit hesitant about sticking something up his backside. I have no problem with it, but some men do. So, I put myself in that man’s mindset.

From opening the package, to reading the instructions, to putting it together, to insertion, and to use, the total time was about five minutes. I would say for the average man who has never done this, it will take you about 10 to 15 minutes the first go-round. Why? Because you probably don’t know where your prostate is. And that’s OK. You’ll know it when you hit it. And the rubber tip on this particular device is soft enough that it won’t hurt you.

You need one AA battery to get it to work. When you screw the tip inside the handle, do it gently. If you over-crank it, it will pop off the threads. If it seems a little loose, that’s OK; it’s not going to come out. Like I said, it’s not a sex toy -- you’re going to be gentle with it anyway.

Once you do find your prostate (and insertion with lube is a necessity -- vaseline works just fine), push the “on” button, and let it rest there. After 30 seconds, gently start to massage it up and down. This is not designed to stimulate like an Aneros toy; it is designed to send vibrations into the organ itself, and get blood moving in there. This will help release toxins, as older prostates have a tendency to build up heavy metals. After about two minutes, you’re done. Pull it out slowly, clean it off with warm soap and water, and put it away until the next day. I suggest engaging every day, or do it at the guidance of your doctor.

For the straight men out there who think this will make them gay, just remember that prostate cancer makes you dead. Don’t choose your pride over your health.

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Sonic Prostate Health Massager

6:07 PM

Nitin Vachhani

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Hello Readers,

In addition to my own life stories and journey, I am also very curious about the hurdles you have overcome.

So, you are hereby summoned and encouraged write to me directly if you want to add your own stories, expertise, and other anecdotal pieces to this blog. 

I will ensure that hyperlinks for your username direct readers back to the site of your choosing. This will help publicize you, and it will allow people here to glean perspectives that are not just mine.

Click Here to subscribe to Sexually Secure, so you know when I post new content.

Regards,

Sexually Secure

Do You Want to Add Content to Sexually Secure?

7:11 AM

Nitin Vachhani

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So far, I've been playing catch-up on all of the sex toys I've tested and reviewed. There will be more of that coming soon, but today, I want to talk a little bit about building intimacy with your partner (from a straight male perspective). If you are a gay male, this will likely help you, too. If you are a woman, please read through and try to understand where I (like a lot of men) come from. And then, ask your man to take a read.

This is Part One of a series I'd like to do on this. Firstly, because it's not a one article topic. Secondly, intimacy is not something that ever reaches an end -- it gets better and better, but there is always something to learn.

Keep in mind while you're reading this, that this is a perspective from one male (me), but it is likely shared by a lot men out there.

I grew up in a very sex-negative, racist, prejudiced, and sexist area. It's a miracle that I was able to overcome all of that, but not without a lot help. People in my area were very much against anything progressive, so the only way I learned about love, sex, intimacy, and vulnerability was from the examples I had -- my parents. My parents hated each other, and they made sure they let me know it. So, the opinion of my Mom lead me to believe that all women are angry, bi-polar, and sex-negative. The lifestyle that my Dad taught me was to ignore my feelings, ignore women, watch porn, and just try to get through life.

Also, I was introduced to pornography at a very early age (around third grade). It became the outlet for my aggression and the template that formed my opinions surround women. I relied on Penthouse and Hustler to teach me what sex is, what women are supposed to act like, and that all women are just objects to be used for my pleasure.

At the peak of my teenage years, I learned from my friends how to pick up women, use them, and get rid of them. My entire teenage and young adult life was focused on three things: watching pornography, finding women with whom to have sex,  and moving onto the next woman. It was a never ending cycle that led to so many poor decisions.

If I could take it back, I would. However, my hope is that the lessons I learned will be able to help you overcome your issues with intimacy and vulnerability. It is my firm belief (with a lot of experience and anecdotal evidence) that a lot of men out there suffer from the same debilitating disease of porn and sex addiction. It is a real and documented pattern addiction that should not be taken lightly. More on that in future posts.

Intimacy, for me, was solely based on how much sex I could have with a woman. It had nothing to do with sharing thoughts and feelings. As a matter of fact, I didn't really have feelings other than anger and lusting. Everything was sexualized. Once I got tired of having sex with that person, or once I felt like my partner was starting to fall in love with me, I destroyed the relationship. It was a safe outlet for me to protect my heart and keep my emotions bottled inside.

To close on this, you may be wondering how or why a man who was obsessed with sex would create a blog about sex toys. Well, it's not just a blog about sex toys. The primary focus is this article -- overcoming taboos and stigmas of the male sexual perspective. Sex toys, when you are in a secure relationship, are an absolute blessing to use. You will never see me reference pornography sites or anything that marginalizes women. After years of emotional work, I am completely at ease talking about and reviewing sex toys, and my hope is to convince you to use them to build intimacy and vulnerability like I have.

As always, feel free to contact me directly with any questions, comments, or suggestions. Click Here to subscribe to Sexually Secure, so you know when I post new content.

Building Intimacy with Your Partner (a Background of My Original Perspective) -- Part One of a Series

8:30 AM

Nitin Vachhani

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Some of you out there are probably curious about these things that look like hair ties that go around your cock. They are known as cock rings, c-rings, penis rings, and probably a million other things. The premise of a cock ring is to help a man maintain his erection and the firmness of that erection. Some argue that it also helps delay orgasm, increase intensity, or even stop a bunch of semen from coming out (thinking that it is an effective birth control...it's not).

If you are going to try them out, I suggest you start with something made of high quality silicone. I would also caution you to never use steel cock rings. Steel cock rings, if you can't get it off, can lead to a serious medical issue with the circulation of blood to and from your penis. It will also mean a trip to the hospital where the doctor will have to carefully take a metal cutter up to your penis. Silicone, on the other hand, is very stretchy.

So, let's focus solely on silicone cock rings for this article. Why, because I don't support the use of steel here. You can find troves of cock rings all over Amazon for extremely low prices. Don't go breaking the bank on something that costs more to market than it does to manufacture. And frankly, just email the vendor, and they'll likely give you them for free in exchange for a review. (hint, hint)

They come in different sizes, so I suggest you buy a multi-pack that has various sizes for your first go. Once you get them, you'll see what I mean. It's like any other rubber band. The smaller the circumference, the tighter the fit.

When you want to try them out, wait until you are at least semi-hard to put one one you shaft. However, waiting until you are fully hard will help you maintain that longer erection, and it will hinder blood from flowing out, so you will gain a little more girth. Not soda can girth, but enough to make a difference for your partner if you're changing things up.

The way to use them is relatively easy. You have several options, and I encourage you to try all of them out to see what feels best.

1. You can put the ring down your penis and leave it at the base of your shaft. If you are someone who does not shave his pubic hair, then stretch it out to put it on. Otherwise, you can just roll it down. This is best done when you have a decent erection. Although, you can put it on before getting hard, and it will help grow and retain your erection.

2. You can put these around your balls. For this, you have to stretch the cock ring wide enough, and then carefully pull your entire sack through the ring. It will feel tight, but it will be comfortably tight. Take your time. Your balls are sensitive, and letting one of these go before it’s set is a big no no.

3. Lastly, you can wrap it around your shaft and balls at the same time. For this, start by putting the ring on your shaft and bring it down to the base. Then, with a few fingers, and two hands, stretch the ring downward and put your balls through it (following the steps in option 2).

Some final notes: Don’t keep these on for too long. My recommendation is no longer the 30 minutes. You can test the waters by going further if you want, but I’m speaking from experience and a safety standpoint. You’ll also notice that your erections will stay fuller for longer time. Your body doesn’t have to work as hard to keep pumping blood to your member.

As always, feel free to contact me directly with any comments, questions, or suggestions. Click Here to subscribe to Sexually Secure, so you know when I post new content.

So, What's a Cock Ring, and Do I Need One?

5:22 PM

Nitin Vachhani

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Some of you looking at this blog might be wondering why I started it in the first place. As it turns out, I never really wanted to be a Blogger; it just kind of happened. I was recovering from surgery a few weeks ago, and I had an epiphany: Why are so many men scared of exploring their sexuality...both with their partners or solo? In other words, what is it about guys (at least in the U.S.) that won't experiment with prostate massage, pegging, or any other anal stimulation.

I sat back and tried to remember the first time I let a woman get near my butt. It was a really weird feeling at first, but once it happened, I was hooked. The problem happened after she and I broke up -- I didn't think women in general were into that kind of stuff, so I just never did with them. It wasn't until about three years ago that I really opened up to my wife about wanting to do these sorts of things.

It took me so much courage to muster enough strength to have that awkward conversation about anal play, but I figured, hey, I'm going for it. If it was going to backfire, I would rather it backfire sooner rather than later...or never backfire at all...which would mean I would never have had the hot experiences that I currently have -- both together and solo.

I guess it really came down to a few things:

1. I thought, "What if she thinks I'm gay because of this.?" Well, let's put that to bed right now. It's 2016, and if a straight guy wants to put a toy in his ass, why can't he just do it. I'm sick and tired of close-minded people who find fault with guys like me, just because we want to feel incredible sensations. The thing is, I'm also a very religious person (who embraces science and sex positivity). It took a lot of work (mentally and emotionally) to get back the barriers and stigmas that were associated with men doing this.

2. "What if she thinks I'm disgusting?" This one was just going to have to be a coin flip, right? No. My thoughts, and the way I came to my approach was simple: If she is allowed (by social norms) to use toys to get off, then why can't I use them and increase my own sexual pleasures?

The way I approached her was from a mindset of openness and extreme vulnerability. In fact, during and after our discussion, to that point, I never felt closer to her. I spoke to her as an adult who wanted to enjoy adult feelings...there was no condemning society for the stigmas, no leveraging the fact that she uses toys...none of that. It was a simple conversation, and it went something like this:

"So, I've been doing a lot of research and reading on the Internet, and I've been shopping around for my first prostate massager. Do you know what that is?"

The conversation then became informational, and we actually looked at massagers together. It was amazing how difficult and how easy it was to talk to her about this. It took so much courage, but once that bridge was built, I could cross it any time (meaning the bridge of communicating about sex).

Now, I'm in the business of testing out sex toy products for men, using women's sex toys on me as well in order to offer a man's perspective, and I blog and spread the word about prostate massage and milking whenever it comes up.

So after reading all of this (if you're still with me), if you have any questions about how you can approach your lover/girlfriend/wife with the same questions, feel free to email me through my contact form. I will get back to you as soon as I can.

Man, that felt good to get out there. :)

As always, feel free to contact me directly with any comments, questions, or suggestions. Click Here to subscribe to Sexually Secure, so you know when I post new content.

A Small Rant on Why I'm Doing This Blog

12:09 PM

Nitin Vachhani

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